It is completely normal for the holiday season to bring up a confusing mix of emotions.

Holidays can be a beautiful time for gratitude and connecting with our loved ones, but it can also feel heavy with the weight of expectations, stress, or the reminders of time going by. The juxtaposition of the bitter and the sweet or feeling like holiday exhaustion is inevitable leave many dreading this festive season.

We can never promise a fool proof way to take away all tough emotions, but taking time to think about what you really wish for this year and seeking to maximize your joy in spite of these difficulties can be a helpful way to approach the holidays.

Here are our 4 best tips for bringing out the best of this season:

Utilize radical acceptance.
Radical acceptance is needed when we know things are not what we want, but we recognize we can not control them. Try to be non-judgmental about your emotions. It’s ok to feel more than one thing at once, and it is totally normal to feel grief, anger, sadness, and guilt during the holidays. The sooner we accept how we feel, the sooner we can allow other emotions to share the space. Your holiday season make look different this year than it has before because of loss, changes in circumstances or priorities, or a new season of life.
It’s ok to budget.
Reduce financial stress by not caving to societal pressure. There are plenty of societal pressures that make us feel like we need to spend tons of money around the holidays. From advertisements pressuring us to buy the newest versions of everything, commercials showing countless gifts under the tree, and lists to Santa that look a mile long. These types of pressures make it easy to over-extend yourself this time of year.
Try to remind yourself that the short term satisfaction of going over and beyond with gifting can lead to anxiety and financial stress in the new year. Ask yourself, “what am I trying to say with my gifts and decorations?” There are many ways to give heartfelt gifts and show people we care without going over our budget. Your family and friends will remember the kind words and time you spent with them long after the wrapping paper is cleaned up.
Plan your schedule in advance.
Just like we need to responsibly budget our finances for the holidays, we need to also budget our time. Depending on the size of your family, travel expectations, and how many other obligations you may have, you might feel overwhelmed at the number of social activities and responsibilities that need attending.
In the weeks leading up to the holiday, work with the people in your home to prioritize events, discuss boundaries, and decide how you are going to incorporate self care and relaxation. The holidays are a great time to connect with those we love, but to feel our best we absolutely need to prioritize our own needs. Consider saying no to things that you’re already dreading, there’s no prize for attending the most holiday events. For the events you do choose to attend, give yourself time before or after to prepare emotionally or energy-wise. Some events may drain us physically or emotionally more than others, but recognizing our patterns and limits helps support the overall goal - actually enjoying this season.
Take care of your body.
Few times throughout the year do our routines change as much as during the holidays. Make sure you are prioritizing your physical health despite the hectic season. We often are falling asleep later at night, and may not get as much sleep as a result. Consider allocating more time to sleep in the morning after a late night, and if that’s not possible try to stagger your late night obligations.
Holidays are also notorious for big meals and delicious food. Make sure to eat snacks that support how your body feels best and drink water before a big event. Saving all that eating for the holiday feast can leave you sluggish and ravenous before the evening even starts, which certainly doesn’t help our mood or energy level. Remember that you are allowed to choose what to eat at a holiday meal or gathering and don’t need to punish yourself or your body for those choices either before or after. Adequately taking care of your body and brain can help you enjoy this season AND decrease the guilt or shame that can often come with holiday meals.