How many of you have said at least one time something along the lines of “I am going to focus on ____.” *raises hand* I’ve said that approximately 32,948 times in the past year. Kidding, but only kind of.

I want to focus on not getting mad at my kids today.

I want to focus on the fun of the moment.

I want to focus on eating a balanced diet today. (Ice cream counts, right?!)

I am going to focus on gratitude. (Buys gratitude journal. Gratitude journal then sits on desk, mostly unused.)

The list is endless. I’m not a perfect person. Never claim to be. I have a lot of work to do. I’ve also done A TON of work on myself in the past 5 years alone. I’m proud of that work. Jeni from 2018 was a sad, broken, tired, sometimes happy, tired, grateful, angry, tired Jeni. Jeni had a toddler and had a baby in July 2018, hence the tiredness. Most notable from 2018 Jeni was that was the first year in being a widow. Jeni of today- my goodness you were and are amazing. Even in your faults. In 2018, my focus was “just get through the day.” And at that time, that was all that mattered.

Focus, just focus.

But now? Now I want to shift “focus” to Embody.

Feel the shift? Focus is like making a Pinterest board of motivational quotes like Choose Joy! 

Embody is really bringing the focus inward, making it a super conscious decision, and making it a priority. Embody is a lifestyle change, a mindset change, a change in effort.

So, where does one start? Excellent question.

I started with doing a little soul searching. What DO I want for myself? My family? My marriage? My kids? My job? The list was long, so I had to narrow it down. I started to prioritize my goals. Then, I turned them into intentions. Next, I broke down the intentions into a concise phrase, which is what I am choosing to embody.

Want to know my phrase and goal of which I am embodying??

Slow to anger, quick to smile.

Why? You ask. I’d love to answer!

Few reasons. First, I (like most people) need to perfect the art of slowing down. Life doesn’t always have to move at the speed of light. We are allowed to slow down. Myself included. And when I speed up, I tend to get frustrated, lose patience, and feel stressed. Those emotions feel a lot like ‘anger’ to me, hence “slow to anger.”

Second, life goes way too fast to not enjoy it. Do we need to enjoy every single minute? Of course not! But I feel like I can be way more cognizant of the positives. The big moments, little moments, and moments in between. I am allowing myself to be fast when it comes to seeing the positive, recognizing the positive, laughing, and being goofy.

Third, in my reflection stage of this process, I gave a lot of thought to those I look up to. What do they have that I want to embody? Or carry on? Or strive to be? One person immediately came to mind, my late Dad. I have been blessed with an awesome father, and it sucks a whole bunch that he was taken from this world far too soon. But that doesn’t mean he still isn’t impactful for me. My dad rarely got angry, it’s kind of what he was known for in his friend group and in our family. He was almost always either neutral or happy. Don’t get me wrong, he had his moments, but they were few and far between, and rarely lasted very long. He was very much slow to anger, quick to be happy.

There I have it- slow to anger, quick to smile.

To enforce the practice, I have a note with that phrase in my bathroom where I will see it at least twice a day when I brush my teeth :) I meditate on it by closing my eyes, and saying the phrase to myself in my head while doing a few deep breaths. I actively keep it present in my mind as I work to embody the mindset.

I’m not perfect. I got frustrated with my kids twice last week in the mornings. (Mornings are hard, amiright?!) I worked to bring myself back to baseline and back to my embody phrase by doing some deep breathing and saying my phrase to myself. It worked ish. Part of growth is taking missteps. Growth isn’t linear! Progress over perfection. Effort over complacency. 

So, what can you strive to embody?