Supporting a Loved One Struggling with OCD
Supporting a loved one through any struggle can be difficult to navigate, but helping a loved one dealing with OCD can be especially difficult due to persisting stigma surrounding mental health diagnoses and the many misconceptions surrounding OCD. Try some of the following strategies to best support someone with their OCD diagnosis.
1. Educate Yourself
The first step toward support should be your own education. It should not necessarily be your friend or family member's job to tell you all about obsessive compulsive disorder. Luckily, there are many resources available that can provide you with an overview of the diagnosis. Some of my personal favorite resources are the “International OCD Foundation” website and the podcast “OCD Stories.”
If your loved one is open to talking about their own experience with OCD, it is in your best interest to learn how the symptoms present for them specifically. OCD can come in many different subtypes and the variations range so widely it can often confuse people that they fall under the same diagnostic umbrella. Examples of different types of OCD would be harm OCD, religious scrupulosity, contamination, hoarding, symmetry, intrusive or taboo thoughts, pathological doubt, among others.
Education and understanding is particularly important for some of the more stigmatized subtypes of OCD such as taboo thoughts and harm. Fears of being misunderstood and stigmatization is often what prevents people from getting help or talking about their experiences. It’s important to remember that in OCD thoughts DO NOT equal desire to act. In fact, your loved one verbalizing that these thoughts are scary, undesired, distressing, and in opposition to their values is further substantiation of their OCD diagnosis.
2. Support your loved one in accessing treatment.
Encourage your loved one to seek therapy from a provider who specializes in OCD. Due to the highly specific nature of OCD treatment, outcomes are best when people utilize therapists who are trained in OCD and use evidence based treatment modalities. If you don’t know where to start try checking the “Psychology Today” database filtered both to your city by OCD specialization. It may take a few consultation calls until your loved one finds a therapist who is a good fit. This is normal! The right therapist/client fit is important.
3. Reduce accommodating behaviors
After your loved one has engaged in therapy, you may find that you have been inadvertently enabling their OCD behaviors, which is called accommodation. Accommodation is when family or friends assist the individual with OCD to complete their rituals and reduce distress. This may come in the form of reassurance, checking, or participation in a ritual, such as continuing to enter a room until it feels “just right” to your loved one. A therapist will be a great tool toward identifying any accommodating behaviors and assisting with the gradual process of helping roll them back and eventually extinguishing them entirely.
It’s important to remember that although accommodating behaviors come from a place of love, they are ultimately allowing OCD behaviors to fester and grow. No amount of reassurance will ever be enough for OCD and like an addiction, the required accommodations will continue to increase in order to reduce distress.
4. Engage in Your Own Selfcare
Whenever you are helping to support a loved one through a mental health struggle it is important to check in with yourself and focus on your own self care. Your needs and boundaries matter! Make sure to continue fostering the other social relationships in your life, keep up with your own routine, and continue engaging in enjoyable hobbies. Depending on the circumstances you may want to even reach out to a therapist of your own for support.
