Understanding the Stages of Change
Anyone who has ever attended therapy or tried to create a New Year’s resolution can appreciate how hard it is to change behavior, and especially how hard it can be to sustain change in the long term.
This is because any behavior that we engage in serves us in some way, and to give up the behavior and whatever benefit we feel it gives us can be scary since it’s unknown!
Oftentimes these maladaptive behaviors protect us from feeling uncomfortable emotions. Things like avoidance, substance use, unhealthy relationships, and perfectionist behaviors may feel as though they are giving us some benefit in the short term, but long term they are unhealthy and cost us feelings of fulfillment.
The six stages of change can give us a lens through which to view our journey and helps normalize that modifying our behaviors takes time.
Precontemplation.
During this stage people are often described as being in “denial.” Whatever unhealthy patterns an individual is engaging in are not seen as maladaptive or may not be noticed at all. This stage can be very hard on relationships because support people may be encouraging a change, and the individual engaging in the behavior may respond with disbelief or distance. Questions to ask a loved one in this stage include, “What would need to happen for you to view this behavior as a problem” or “What are the costs and benefits of engaging in this behavior for you?”
Contemplation.
This stage is characterized by conflicting emotions. At this time people are becoming aware that their behavior may be damaging in some way, and the negative outcomes may be something they have a level of control over. The uncertainty present in this stage means that some individuals may be stuck here for a while. This is because the cost-benefit analysis of change often feels like having to give up known behaviors with known outcomes for a change with unknown outcomes. This is an exciting stage. While it is technically the second step, it is the first step toward active change.
Preparation.
During this next stage an individual is likely making tiny changes in preparation for the larger behavior change. This is often when an individual reaches out to therapists, finds a support group, or begins making goals which require action steps (See blog on SMART goals).
Action.
This stage is characterized by the combination of awareness of an issue, motivation to change, and the actions towards direct change have finally started! It’s important to remember that action is a journey and not a destination. You may be in this stage for a long time, but that is not a failure. Simply remaining in this stage is a gigantic feat of which you should be very proud.
Maintenance.
This stage can be viewed as a continuation of action. Oftentimes the work feels a little easier, a little more routine, but there is often work or vigilance that must be continued to maintain progress. During this stage people are more confident than the action stage. You may feel assured of your ability to keep up the work.
Relapse.
Unfortunately, relapse is a common stage of behavior change. As we discussed earlier, any maladaptive pattern of behavior has historically served us in some way. Sometimes environment or life circumstances trigger old patterns and set us back into old ways that may feel safe and familiar. Although you may be experiencing feelings of disappointment and frustration, remember that you have changed your behavior before and are capable of starting the journey again.
It is normal to struggle with changing routine and shedding deeply ingrained behaviors. It is also important to note that intentional change is not always linear. It is completely normal to take a few steps forward and one step back. It’s also possible that stressors in our life can push us back to the beginning of our journey, but that does not mean change is not possible or that we are not capable of reinitiating the changes we had started.
