Focus on the WHAT?!
I’m just going to come out and say it. I go to church. Almost weekly. Now I’m not super religious and I’m certainly not going to force anything on people. But I do find value in attending, learning, and educating my kids. Even when my son asks a question about church and I struggle to answer it. Goes to show that I’m not perfect!
Recently, while sitting in church listening to the sermon, something really struck a chord with me in what I do every day for my job. Pastor said “stop focusing on what is next and focus on the now.” Like, whoa. If that is not a quote for anxiety, I don’t know what is. A quote for life!
I am going to stop you in your tracks right away.
I 100% understand that as an adult and parent, one needs to plan for what’s coming. I already say that parenting is 50% picking your battles, and 50% planning for the future (whether that be the next feeding or taking out life insurance). So I am obviously already violating the quote at face value. What hit me was being mindful of stopping the worry of what’s on the schedule this week when my kids are at home playing at the moment. Stop worrying about the holiday list when we haven’t even made it through summer yet. There has got to be a balance of being prepared but still being in the moment.
One example for you is my husband and I meal plan for two weeks at a time. We make the meal plan usually on a Saturday, and get the groceries on a Sunday. Then we know what’s for dinner every night for the next two weeks. Though we always throw in a “wing it” night and a couple leftover nights. Doing this little bit of planning for the future allows us to better stay in the moment in the evenings when we are all home. We get home around 4:30 and aim to eat around 5:30. This gives us anywhere from 30-45 minutes of hanging with the kids before preparing and eating dinner. Without the meal plan in place, that time would be consumed by figuring out what the heck is for dinner. See? Planning for the future can be good, along with fostering moments for the now.
So now that we are on the same page that even therapists plan and don’t 100% live in the present, let’s get real about what the balance can look like for you.
When does it feel impossible to just enjoy the moment?
When does it feel impossible to look toward the future?
Why does it feel scary to stop all the forward thinking and just be?
How do I even find the balance?
The answers will all be unique for you and your family. Meal planning works for us, but it doesn’t have to work for you. My question for you is what feels burdensome that can maybe feel less heavy? Are there others you can enlist for help? Does even thinking about all this cause worry?
Clearly at ERA, we value Wellness. (It’s in the business name, after all.) Finding this balance is finding bits of wellness. Life doesn’t have to feel so heavy. Small changes can make big impacts.
