Ebb and Flow

I haven’t written much lately. At all. I haven’t done much with my website, or Facebook page, or anything else like that. I haven’t decluttered or deep cleaned my house. Or stayed in touch with all of my friends and family. Or read all the books I got from the library. I haven’t worked out or meal planned like I wanted to. I have this whole big to do list that feels like failure.

And that’s ok - that’s the stage I’m in right now. Sometimes I can hit things hard and be hyper-focused on everything that needs to be done, and sometimes I’m stretched thin and my priorities are elsewhere.

I think it’s that way for a lot of people right now. School has started and has already shifted at least once for a lot of people. There are also a lot of other shifts, both personally and professionally, as well as other stressors (hello, COVID and the presidential election) that are impacting us. It’s just a season of life where there is a LOT going on, and some things have had to take a back seat. For me, and for just about everyone else.

We’ve shifted into survival mode. And survival mode can be a dangerous place, fraught with guilt and worry and regret.

I could guilt myself for not getting all the things done. I could worry about getting it all done, or feel regret at the end of the day about what I chose to do or not do that day. But that certainly isn’t going to serve me and absolutely won’t help me serve anyone else.

It’s not the public stuff that matters. The Instagram pics aren’t important. It’s not doing all the things. That’s not what makes a life well-lived.

What makes it is the behind the scenes. The work in the trenches. The moments personally and professionally that make me smile or feel like hope, even when things suck. We all know that there are waves to life - sometimes things feel like they’re flowing, sometimes you’re drowning, sometimes you’re Rose in Titanic clinging to the floating door (also they for sure could have both fit on that door, RIP Jack).

And that’s all going to keep cycling through. What matters when things feel like that is that we are able to weed through the bullshit and focus on what’s really important. A year or so ago I was talking to my functional and integrative medicine provider, and she told me to imagine if I had just gotten a cancer diagnosis. What would matter? What would I keep doing and what would go out the window?

For me, my family and kids always come first. Always. I will cut out whatever I need to in order for them to be ok. Vacuuming and decluttering and cutting the grass can wait. Is my neighbor going to keep giving me death stares over my Guiness World Record-length grass? Maybe, but if that’s the hill he wants to die on - have at it. I’m gonna snuggle with my kid instead.

Professionally, I’ll cut out everything extra and continue attending to my current clients and rocking their sessions. The blogs and other stuff can wait. Serving my clients and helping them get what they need is number one.

Personally, I’ll turn inward and focus on self care - like baths and books and chocolate. I’ll listen to my Brene Brown podcasts and paint my nails. Sorry friends, but I’m in survival mode over here. I need to make sure I’m ok so I can keep supporting my family and clients.

The ability to get through the low sections of life - where you’re totally in survival mode and things just overall sort of suck, that’s key to getting back to the good shit - the flow.

So keep going. Keep powering through. Cut down the shit that doesn’t need to get done and focus on taking care of you and your people. Drink your water, take your meds, hug your kids, be kind to yourself. Focus on keeping yourself as ok-ish as possible when everything else sucks.

We’ll get back to the good shit soon.