Yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of officially launching ERA Wellness.

So, in honor of that (and Facebook notifying me that I saw my first individual therapy client 13 years ago this week which mostly just serves to make me feel really old) here are ten things that I wish either of those versions of myself would have known about business ownership, therapy-ing, parenthood, and life - because I’ve done a lot of learning along the way.

(Please ignore the talking about myself in the third person and excessive use of exclamation points. I was young.)

1. Your day is probably not going to go as planned.

You’re going to have really good intentions most days (personally and professionally) about what is going to happen and how things are going to go. You’re almost never going to be right. Not being right isn’t a failure. You can’t possibly anticipate what’s going to happen all the time, and trying to is just going to feel crummy. Roll with it. Anticipating and then panicking when things happen that you didn’t anticipate is so much work. You don’t have time or energy for that. Also - pack the backpacks at night. Just do it. Your morning isn’t going to go as planned either.

My now-husband and I at my graduate school commencement.

2. You will be continually amazed by your clients (and your kids and your employees) and you will learn so much from them.

For reals. They’re going to be awesome. You’re going to be so proud of them every single day for just showing up in the world. You’re going to be really angry and sad sometimes about the things they’ve gone through and how hard things are sometimes. But you’re always going to come back to how amazing they are and that’s going to keep you going. Also - find your people. They’re going to feel so good to be around. I can’t wait for you to meet them.

3. You need help and rest.

Seriously. You CANNOT do all the things. As life and your family and your business grow, you will be less and less able to do all the things because it’s just not possible to do that many things. There are just too many things. Trust that people can help you. And then ask them. They most likely cannot read your mind. Slow down and rest. No one benefits when you run yourself into the ground. The people who you worry about thinking you are failing by not doing all the things are not people whose opinions actually matter. You aren’t ever going to find approval from those kinds of people anyway, so you might as well do what you need to do for you so at least someone is happy. Your productivity and pace and energy are yours, not anyone else’s. You deserve help. You deserve rest.

4. Listen first.

What people really need is to be seen and heard. Your clients, your kids, your spouse, your friends, your employees - even YOU. Start there.

5. Learn to savor the moment.

Look around. That office? Those kids? Those are the things you’ve dreamed about for years and they’re real and here and right in front of you. Savor it. Sit in silence for a minute before you go home and enjoy the light coming in through your office window. Stay in their room a moment longer once they’re asleep and watch them dream. Savor it. Enjoy where you are even when it’s hard.

Especially when it’s hard.

6. Prioritize authenticity.

You don’t fit into a box and you never have. You’re not box-shaped, you’re Emily-shaped. Be your Emily-shaped self. The people who need or like that will find you. The people who don’t, don’t need to find you and you don’t need to shape-shift for them. You are not a shape-shifter. Also - prioritize being around other people who are authentic too. Those are your people.

7. Do one thing at a time.

At work, with kids, wherever. If you are resting - rest. If you are working - work. If you are parenting - parent. If you are eating - eat. Trying to combine things will short-circuit your brain and make you feel like you are meeting none of the needs. Be in what you are in. Put all the other things on a list for their time. Sometimes this isn’t going to work. Sometimes you’re going to be cooking and a kid will be screaming and things will burn. That’s ok too. While we’re at it - cooking is not your gift and you’re going to burn things and ruin things and that’s ok. You don’t have to be good at everything but also most things are easier when you’re doing one thing at a time.

8. Meditation and yoga count as needs.

Just start them now. Trust me, it will be worth it. You need stillness and silence and to be in your body. You need time alone. Build that in early and make it happen. Also, when you really find meditation it’s going to rock your world a bit. That’s ok too.

9. Trust yourself. You don’t have to know everything.

I know. You want to know everything. But you already know what you need. Listen to that. Books or blogs or other opinions about business ownership or therapy or parenting will only take you so far. Sometimes they’re needed. Most of the time it’s just extra noise. Take it all with grains of salt and then go with your gut.

10. It will work out.

The things that are roadblocks, the things that are hard, the things that feel like mountains today. They will work out.

The lack of sleep with newborns will pass.

The stress of business things will shift.

The pandemic intensity will lessen.

Whatever the thing is that you’re currently worried about - it will work out the way that it is supposed to, even it that’s not the way that you think it should right now.