The Basics of Finding a Therapist
Deciding to go to therapy can be a hard decision. Then you have to actually find a therapist, and that can be really hard too. It’s important that you feel like you can connect with the person across the room from you. Pouring out your innermost thoughts and feelings doesn’t really work very well if you think they’re an ass or full of shit.
There are a couple basic ways to find a therapist - checking with your insurance, blind Googling, or asking for a referral.
Your insurance will have a list of “in network” providers. This means that the therapist has a contract with the insurance company to accept a certain rate for sessions. This rate varies wildly, and quite frankly most rates are quite low. If you choose to find a therapist on the insurance company’s list - double check with the therapist that they still accept your plan. If you do choose to use your insurance, your insurance company is privy to all of your medical records. They require a diagnosis code to bill for services (Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety, etc). If at some point your symptoms no longer meet medical necessity, they may no longer pay for sessions. They can also request the notes that your therapist keeps or decide how many sessions you can have or how frequently you can have them. Many people use their health insurance for therapy and that’s completely fine - but you need to know what that actually entails and be comfortable with the level of information that your insurance company has access to. If you choose a therapist off of the in network list with your insurance, still check out that therapist on Psychology Today or their website. See if they specialize in what you’re hoping to work on or if they feel like a good fit for your style.
You can also just google therapists in your area. This method will most likely take you to Psychology Today, which is a paid listing service for therapists. The therapist can write a short blurb about themselves and include some information about what their specialties they have, rates, location, etc. Once again, if the listing states that the therapist takes your insurance, double check that. Many therapists also have their business website linked to their Psychology Today profile. If they have a thorough website that can also be a good way to get a feel for the therapist, what they are like, and what you might expect from seeing them. It can be helpful to look for someone who specializes in your specific issue, but sometimes that isn’t possible.
Sometimes its also helpful to ask for a referral from someone you know. Maybe you have a mom friend that loves her therapist and gives you their name, maybe your doctor knows some providers and feels like a specific one would be a good fit for you, maybe you’re connected with a local organization and they have some providers they like or trust. This personal hand off can feel a bit warmer - you have some information before calling that the therapist you connect with isn’t a total weirdo (probably). Sometimes doing something hard, like finding a therapist, can feel just a little bit easier if someone you trust has been through similar or can help you walk through it.
In my opinion, the absolute most important thing when finding and seeing a therapist is that their style is a good match for YOU. I could be the best therapist ever, but if we don’t click - you’re probably not going to get much out of it. The relationship between therapist and client (the “therapeutic relationship”) is an unbalanced one - you pour out all of your personal details, worries, fears, feelings - and don’t get much information in return. You need to be able to trust that your therapist can hold space for those worries, fears, and feelings. To do really deep therapeutic work you have to get vulnerable and that can be really scary. Some therapists offer complimentary consults over the phone to assess whether they are a good fit for you. This can be a good way to check out a potential new therapist without waiting for an appointment, which can be a long process. If you do start seeing a therapist and feel like it isn’t a good fit - say something! Your therapist can probably feel that too. Any good therapist wants you to get what you need, even if that isn’t with them. They may be able to help you find someone that is a better fit for you so you can do the healing that you need to do and move on with your life.
Need help finding someone? Let me know!
