Few times of the year can intensify already existing anxiety quite like the holidays. While for many people holidays can mean a time of gift giving, family gatherings, religious services, special meals and relaxation, for those already experiencing anxiety, each holiday-related obligation can result in stress and feeling panicked.

Stress of holiday gift shopping and cooking, anxiety over too many social obligations, living up to too high of expectations for making the holidays perfect – all of these and more can make the holiday season seem miserable. Try some of these coping mechanisms to deal with holiday stress so you can enjoy your holidays and not let anxiety negatively impact this special time of year.

Acknowledge your emotions

There is a difference between regular levels of anxiety and the type of anxiety that may cause problems during the holidays. Regular anxiety may just lead to double checking your shopping list or calling a friend or family member to confirm plans for a second time. Heightened anxiety can lead to loss of sleep, abruptly canceling plans, or irregular mood changes.

It is critical to acknowledge when existing or less severe forms of anxiety intensify, and symptoms of more severe anxiety begin showing. Recognize that while many people experience this form of anxiety, you do not have to live with it or just tough it out, especially if doing so negatively effects your or your loved ones’ holiday season. Recognizing that there is a problem is crucial to addressing anxiety in a healthy way.

Reach out to support people

Some people in our lives are more supportive than others. When it comes to the holiday season, we often think first of those family members who actually increase our anxiety that we always have to see at a family gathering. To best prepare for a family gathering, and other holiday activities, try not to think about those people we barely see throughout the year who cause us stress, but instead think about the people we see frequently who best support emotional health.

Maybe it’s a friend or family member, like a parent or sibling, you see frequently and has a track record of affirming your anxiety or other life stressors you have dealt with in the past. A supportive person in your life can help you talk through what is causing your anxiety and affirm your emotions, which in itself may alleviate the immediate impact of anxiety. If your support person is a family member, hopefully you can lean on them during family events, or they can help with some of the more stressful parts of the holiday season like cooking for a large family.

Be realistic about expectations

Contrary to popular belief, people can enjoy the holidays without everything being absolutely perfect. Setting expectations too high for the holidays nearly guarantees heightened levels of stress and anxiety. Keep the expectations realistic, and focus more on what you can control versus the many things you simply can’t control. Especially when thinking about the holidays for your loved ones, everyone will have a great experience just spending time together, not because every detail was perfect. Reflect on the expectations you have set and consider whether they are realistic or not.

Take breaks when needed

Closely related to acknowledging your own emotions is knowing how to step back and take short breaks to effectively manage any anxiety or stress you might be experiencing. During family gatherings, don’t be afraid to step outside or in a private room to gather your thoughts and to take a breather. For family gatherings or other social obligations, don’t fret if you aren’t the first to arrive and last to go. Focus more on quality engagements rather than just being present. Quality in this case matters more than just duration, and no one will care if you occasionally need to step away to gather your thoughts.

Remind yourself its OK to decline plans

From family gatherings and religious services to seeing friends that no longer live in the area, the holidays are often jam packed with plans. Having so many obligations itself can raise stress and anxiety levels, especially when any form of travel is involved. Not only are so many obligations tricky to manage on the calendar, but when we are busy it is difficult to have those alone times to decompress, get good sleep, reflect on our social encounters, and have some breathing room before hopping into our next social situation. Remind yourself that it is ok to decline plans since we don’t need to squeeze in every possible event or activity to have a quality holiday season. There is always the rest of the year for scheduling fun, so don’t let over-scheduling the holidays detract from having a good time.