What is Gottman Couples Therapy?
Here at ERA Wellness, Jeni and Kelsey are both Gottman trained couples therapists at Level 2.This means they have done about 40 hours of training just on how to be a couples therapist. There is a 3rd level to the training of which Jeni and Kelsey may pursue down the road.
But what difference does it make if a couples therapist is Gottman trained or not? Great question.
Let’s start with a quick overview of the Gottmans. Full information can be found at their website if you wanna take a deep dive.
In short, and in our biased opinions, the Gottmans are pretty amazing. Drs. John and Julie Gottman have studied couples and families for over 40 years. Let’s be real, that is longer than some of us have been alive! They have turned their research into a method to help couples and families be successful. There are different ways of going about the method, and at the basic understanding, Gottman trained therapists help couples and families succeed by addressing the friendship in the relationship, resolving conflict, and working on the longevity of the relationship. Sounds easy, but if it were, we wouldn’t have done 40 hours of training ;)
So how does the training and knowledge translate to therapy?
Enter Jeni or Kelsey! They work with each of our couples to address their specific needs and goals. They start at the foundation of the Gottman method, and work their way from there in a way that respects your relationship now and what you want it to be. Gottman offers their trained therapists various tools to use, so you may see that when working with either provider. Both Kelsey and Jeni also recommend books, podcasts, or other resources to reference and deepen your understanding as you go through your couples work.
What does couples therapy with a Gottman trained therapist look like?
Logistically speaking, there is a specific way Gottman therapists structure their appointments. First is a conjoint session, meaning both partners in session with their therapist. Then, each partner will have at least one individual session with the therapist. Sometimes the individual(s) need more than one individual session, and that will be discussed when you are at that point in therapy. Finally, everyone comes back together conjointly and this is when we all go over and discuss the treatment plan, review goals, and get started working on those goals! The frequency of sessions is usually weekly or bi-weekly, depending on what works for your family.
Do we have to see a Gottman trained therapist to be successful?
In short, no. There are other ways of couples therapy. The difference between Gottman and the others has a lot to do with the pure amount of research that Drs. Gottman have poured into couples, their theory, and methods. We like that it is a really evidence based, research rich method - we want you to have confidence that your relationship can feel better.
The delivery of the Gottman method is often described as more welcoming to couples (especially those couples in conflict), detailed, and statistically successful. The Gottman method offers therapists tangible tools which can mean actual things to do or try for their clients. It is through the tools and therapy that concerns with connection, intimacy, and communication are addressed.
What sets Kelsey and Jeni apart from other couples therapists in the area?
Kelsey and Jeni also bring their perinatal and fertility knowledge and experience to their couples therapy when appropriate. They often see couples that are also parenting, considering being parents, or preparing to be parents so bringing the dual-lens approach is really helpful. Couples in therapy often have more than one concern that they want to work on; both Jeni and Kelsey are equipped and ready to help their couples work toward their goals.
Just because Kelsey and Jeni bring this to their couples therapy does not mean you have to be in a season of parenting to start couples therapy with them! They also see couples who are not in the parenting realm and still do amazing work with these couples - whether you are dating, blending families, retiring, or at any other stage.
Kelsey and Jeni also see couples for “relationship wellness checks” much like each year getting a physical with your primary care provider. Couples do not have to be in conflict to benefit from therapy! The structure of this kind of therapy will look the same, with the discussions and goals being adjusted to maintaining wellness.
